


cosmos

by mirkwood131



Series: EXO Central [28]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Heartbreak, Kissing, Light Angst, Lost Love, Love, M/M, Read at your own discretion, suicidal thoughts so if you are not comfortable with that
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-06-15
Packaged: 2019-05-23 16:21:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 940
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14937746
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mirkwood131/pseuds/mirkwood131
Summary: Kyungsoo is searching for Chanyeol through the sky. Chanyeol is right there for him.





	cosmos

**Author's Note:**

> song recom: [ The rose-Like we used to ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K1FQeUXn_sc)  
> enjoy:)

The water was raising up to his chest and then to his neck and chin, up to his mouth.

He licked his lips. It tasted like salt.

Looking back, a wave brushed past his head, and for a split second it covered his face like a veil.

Chanyeol was standing on the shore, looking at him with those big eyes of his. Another wave came; it pushed Kyungsoo closer to him.

And then, he wondered. What would happen if he made a couple more steps until the water would fully cover him.

 _Fully_ submerged. Not trying to break back to the surface. Just breathing in the clear liquid until his lungs would fill with it.

But Chanyeol started walking towards him. The thought was broken.

He was smiling, splashing through it, rapidly approaching him.

“Kyungsoo…” he whispered and brushed his fingers along his jaw, up to his hair.

He grabbed a fistful of it and pulled.

His breath came out like a shiver.

“Kyungsoo…” he said once again.

His hand fell back right into water, droplets hitting of their faces. Kyungsoo glanced down and he could see the sun between their bodies. If he opened his mouth, he thought that he could swallow it with all the water.

He wondered if it would burn.

Lips touched his, but not softly. They burned and dried out his, chapped and full.

“I…love you.” Chanyeol whispered.

“I know.” Kyungsoo smiled and made a step back.

And another, another as the water was higher and higher, passing his lips, his nose.  

He closed his eyes.

A hand grabbed his wrist and dragged him out until he could finally breathe. A cough.

“Stop it.” Chanyeol said and shook him.                                                                                                                                

Kyungsoo laughed and kissed his lips. Softly.

And then he started walking towards the shore, still with those fingers around his wrist.

The sand felt rough, brittle underneath his feet, small, sharp stones digging right into his flesh.

 

 

×××

 

 

A truck passed by him.

A honk.

So close, that he could smell the thick scent of gasoline, the smoke that was making him cough and he could see the driver in the eye. Fat and sweaty, with a bored expression on his face; the grey t-shirt sticking to his body as their gazes met for a split second.

He then thought. How would it feel to make just one step to the right, right when a truck would be passing by?

Those split seconds before the crash. Watching it getting bigger and bigger, until it would be out of his vision. Too much too see.

He thought that he would close his eyes. Wait for the impact. Maybe hear the screech of the wheels on the asphalt. His own scream.

His heartbeat in the ears. The panic as he would know that it would be too late to take back that step and be on the sidewalk once again. Safe. But he thought that he might not even have time for anything. Simply being erased coldly.

“Kyungsoo?” Chanyeol asked, squeezing his hand. “You’ve stopped.” he said.

“Sorry.” Kyungsoo laughed.

He reached on his tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. It tasted like the sea.

 

 

×××

 

 

“Kyungsoo! It’s late.”

“Sorry, Jongdae. I…I went to the seaside.” Kyungsoo said to the man that was standing in the small living room.

“Was it nice?”

“Yes.” Kyungsoo said and walked towards his bedroom without looking back.

Chanyeol was quietly following him and when Kyungsoo closed the door, he kissed him.

“He’ll hear us.” Kyungsoo laughed.

“He won’t.” Chanyeol said, dropping down to his knees.

Kyungsoo breathed out. He closed his eyes and waited.

First, for the sound of the zipper. Then, the low thud of his jeans hitting the floor. The warmth of those fingers on his cold skin. Another trembling breath.

His fingers were caught in the other’s hair that still smelled like the seaside.

They both did.

 

 

×××

 

 

The moon was staring at him through the window.

“I should go.” Chanyeol whispered to him.

“Don’t.”

“I really should.”

“Stay with me…” Kyungsoo said but Chanyeol was already up to his feet.

Pale in the white light, almost a shadow, if he weren’t already one.

Kyungsoo stepped into the hallway and watched him walk out through the door.

He felt empty.

The door closed behind him and the room was plunged back into darkness. Slowly, he walked to the kitchen table.

He laughed. Right on it, shining white in the moonlight, he saw a knife. The blade wasn’t too big, just right. Perfect to butter a slice of bread. Waiting there for him.

His fingers closed around the handle and stared at it. He weighted it, turned it around, analyzed its shinning form.

The silver slowly turned to red that was dripping on the floor.

He wondered how would it feel for it to slice through the skin, right near over his wrist? Cold. Silent. Painful? How much would it take to feel lightheaded, to fall on the floor and not feel it? To watch the blood drip, drip, drip.

“What are you doing?”

“Huh?” he said and glanced towards Jongdae. “Nothing.”

“Come on. It’s late.” Jongdae said and took the knife from his hand; he placed it somewhere in a cupboard.

“Chanyeol is gone.” Kyungsoo said.

“I know. Now you need to sleep, alright? Tomorrow we are going to the orchard as I’ve promised, right?” Jongdae said and brushed a hand along his back.

“Alright. Can we pick some apples too? I could make a pie.” Kyungsoo said.

“Sure. Whatever you want.”

“Okay.” Kyungsoo smiled. “I think that I saw him today.”

“It’s alright.” Jongdae said. “Just alright.”

**Author's Note:**

> to clear some things up: chanyeol is actually supposed to be dead, he is only in kyungsoo's memory; thats why when they get home, jongdae is only talking to kyungsoo and doesn't even pay attention to chanyeol. because he doesn't actually exist.  
> but, i mean, it can be up to the one who's reading i guess  
> also, i know this grim and dark, but i got this idea because one day i was actually walking to university, and there were a lot of cars and trucks passing so close to me that i actually thought exactly what kyungsoo thought in the fic. don't worry, i'm not suicidal or anything. i had just a very strange thought, i guess.
> 
> comments and feedback are loved.


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